I mean I plan to...

Weight loss, why is this such a complex situation for me. I mean it should be relatively easy. But it's not! I get so frustrated and disgusted with myself all the time. It makes absolutely NO sense. I saw a quote that said "When you want to succeed as bad as you breathe, then you will be successful."

So then, I began to question myself. Like am I serious about losing weight? And to be honest, I found that answer to be no. I mean, who am I kidding here. I weigh one hundred and some odd pounds ( I haven't loss complete sense). If I really wanted to lose weight I would get my life and lose a good 40 pounds and would be relatively healthy.

I said that to say this: I don't have any life threatening condition that is caused by my weight, I'm not putting a child in danger by being overweight, and I mean I look bad but I don't look that bad. I mostly want to look good. I don't want to lose it bad enough.

But that's when it hit me. Just because I don't have a life threatening health condition right now doesn't mean I won't and can't develop one. And just because, I don't look that bad doesn't mean I don't look bad at all.

 The most successful people that I see who really win the weight loss battle, aren't the ones who want to look like beyonce. It's the people who get angry and say "Hey, I lost someone or I need to be around, or I just want to be fit. Rather most importantly healthy.

Get my life. That's what I need to do. I need to develop a healthy lifestyle not only for myself but for Emsley and my family. I can do a whole lot more, be a whole lot more and I'm worth a whole lot more if I'm alive versus dead (this may be debatable).

I mean I plan to make this a reality instead of a back and forth fight for reality.