AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It has been too long. I miss you all. My life has not been the same and I don't even know where to begin.
So, my first semester of professional/graduate school.It was absolutely crazy! I think no one ever understands just how much work it really is. And people always sugar coat the situation like I made it through so can you.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,BLAH....
and I may be biased because along with being a full-time student I was also a full-time mother and more like a part-time girlfriend. The truth is you can DO IT! But, it's crazy hard. Some days you will look in the mirror and say "I really have to be crazy to want to do this" The struggle is REAL.
There are so many assignments, so much studying. You feel like somebody is shoving food down your throat. It's funny actually because towards the end of the semester you start making connections and not everything but a lot of stuff makes sense. You get one assignment, you turn that assignment in, and then they give you like 4 more in exchange for the one you just turned in. You will love your professors until they test you then you will hate them, You will love them once you find out that you didn't do as bad as you thought you did and then hate them when you start studying for the next exam because it's too much material. Always there is a love hate relationship. Some classes some tests will take one for the team. There will always be that one and one more important. You will think you fail and never amount to anything and then you pull yourself together and study hard and pass. Some classes you will pass by the skin of your teeth.
You will procrastinate. You will cry. You will be sad. You will be frustrated. You will curse. You will be mad and angry. You will laugh. You will dance. You will sing. And you will pray. But I'll tell you like my professor told me "if you put the time into it you may not get the grades you want, but you will pass. and at the end of the day no one cares if you got a C, or an A as long as you passed. Next semester I know what I have to do differently.
Most of the semester I let studying pile up on me and waited to the last minute and you realize when you pass your first exam from cramming that "okay" next time but sure enough you'll do it again. I am not I WILL NOT leave the library until I have studied at least 2 hours in some subject or another. This was a learning an experience I have ran off less sleep than I thought was possible. When 30 minutes of sleep feels like 4 hours, you have hit bottom. And walking in target buying my daughter a few items of clothing while I wait for my prescription to be filled, feels like a 4day 3 night cruise to the islands. When washing your hair, eating breakfast at a table, watching the news, taking a 20 minute shower, shaving, when those things feel like luxuries.You are experiencing some real ish!!!
So many times I wanted to give the white coat back, stop my loan and stay at home to take care of my BOOs. But I made it through semester 1 of 8 much celebrating is deserved. So, as I am sipping my blue raspberry lemonade calypso someone somewhere out there sip a glass a wine, take a shot, pop a beer for me....