Sunday, July 8, 2012

Not Knowing Who You are On Top Of Not Knowing Who You Are....

First I must mention that my baby sister is tending to my child at the moment and that feels lovely. A moment of breathing for not having to be a mommy for a second...Ahhhhh...Ok, I'm back. You know I've been thinking I could consider my blog as homework and have someone watch my child while I do "Homework" and then we could really get comfy with each other ya know?

At any rate, normally I don't introduce my title in my blog but for this one I feel the need. Not knowing who you are on top of not knowing who you are is exactly like how I feel at this point in life and not as far as life's aspirations, but physical appearance.

I feel that I am Charity, Eh Huh, Brittany. However, when I look in the mirror I don't see her. Like where the hell is she. She's gone...Now on top of not know where she went from 4 years ago, I've gotten pregnant gained 37 pounds, had a c-section and really look a hot mess! Damn you, hanging flabby tummy. I keep a girdle on twenty-fo seven. I would shower in one if I could..HAHA

No, but really... The mailman has been extremely supportive with bullshit saying things like I'm losing weight good, he doesn't want anyone else(not that I question that, but I mean if I look like Rag Anne who's gonna want her for long?) and I don't look that bad and junk like that. But I'm honest with my own self HONIES (you are all my HONIES), I know that if let's say (My man is a butt man and since Nicki Minaj's butt is questionable) we'll say Delicious (google her she was a contestant on flavor of love) came sniffing around his door he would be outta there. OK.. You can fool yourself, I'm not fooled. Now I'll be rational he may not leave me completely but he probably would defiantely be tempted. I digress as always right? I lost my purt. I don't want to lose my self or my man, however my hanging belly can kick rocks!

Now, I know I'm only 3 weeks post partum but it sucks butt not to be able to work out and all...I don't want to look in the mirror a year from now and not know who I am on top of not knowing who I am. I can deal with just one not knowing but two is just way too much. I want to diet but that's hard cause I give my kid the boob. I want to do something, no I need to do something for me. SO, I can think good things about myself. I wanted to do a juice diet but the more I thought about it the more ridiculous it sounded. On another note you know what else I've noticed? My top half has gone down a lot and my bottom half has stayed the same. I totally like have a little bottom now...

Ok so I'm really going to give a diet plan an effort but I don't want to talk about it too much, because I don't want to become one of those people who talk all of this bull and gets nothing done. So we'll just have to wait and see. My mom bought me a new girdle! She knows how to make a sister happy and I feel kinda cute. She says in a few weeks we'll get a tighter one. She pretends to be a nurse (which means she really is a nurse, but I just have to mess with her about something).

I always feel like a chronic complainer when I hope on to write,but what the hell it's my blog...

2 comments:

  1. give yourself some time for your body to readjust. you just had a baby for gods sake!! when its time for you to work out...give it all you got. persistance will pay off. if you let me work out with you we can get it done together! you will be a hott mama soon.

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